creative minds

Please comment on writing style.

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. “So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” they ask.

“It’s pretty nice,” she replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”

	Pad Talking
	What did the maxi pad say to the fart? You are the wind beneath my wings! =]   Three Guys Go to Heaven        Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter. “So,” Peter asks the first guy, “how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “None. I had a perfect marriage.” “Great,” says Peter. “You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “Only twice, I think,” says the second guy. “Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?” “12 times. Maybe 13,” says the third guy. “Okay,” says Peter. “You get a rusty Ford.” Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercedes crying. “What’s wrong?” “I just saw my wife.” “So?” “She was riding a skateboard.”   The Living Statues        Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire.” And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping. After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, “You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?” The male statue looked at the female and asked, “Do you want to do it again?” Smiling, the female statue said, “Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on its head! Pig-ipede        What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs. Hairclub for Women        Yo mama so ugly, she’s not bald, it’s just her hair runnin’ away from her face. That’s Really Hot        Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot — because you can catch a cold! Blonde Overdue        A blonde goes into a library and says, “Hello. I’m here to see the doctor.” The librarian replies, “This is a library.” So the blonde lowers her voice and says, “Oh sorry!” Then whispers, “I’m here to see the doctor.”                                     Who’s the Boss?     A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your trousers.” she said. “That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family.” With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.” He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. “Hell,” he said. ”I can’t get into your panties!” She replied, “That’s right…and that’s the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes.” I’m Glad You’re Short     I’m glad you’re short. It gives me less to complain about. Why did the chicken throw the clock out of the window??? Because he whanted to see time fly…=]

To inspire me to write, I like a glass of wine…especially after a soak in a tub - with a soft candle glow to lighten the atmosphere.  I also like to travel - the different scenery opens channels to my creative side. 

  ‘How about you?’  Going to the gym to excercise also refreshes the brain…especially weights - only light weights for me though - I don’t want to end up like ‘Arnie’ lol.  (Then again…why not lol)

hey,
My favourite books are…

‘Harry potter by J.K Rowling.  J.K Rowling is my inspiration.  I also like ‘Stephen King.’  He’s Novels are excellent, and he is able to grasp your attention from the very start.  If there is anyone to entertain and keep you hooked - it’s him.